When I Come Undone
by D Willims
Summary: Naruto always promised to bring Sasuke back, even by force. And maybe it's already too late; maybe Sasuke's already lost. Naruto x Sasuke.
1. January 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the _Naruto_ universe.

**Characters:** Sasuke, Naruto  
**Relationships:** Naruto x Sasuke  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** Sasuke meets Naruto again.  
**Word Count:** 500

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**January 1**

They'd been here before.

This place. They'd been young, then, and still filled with raw, uncontrolled power. Dark rocks still echoed with their energy. The sharp howls of the wind, the white-hot crackles of lightning. Destructive forces that spun out over and over again in a never-ending battle.

It was the edge of the world.

_This was the furthest Sasuke had ever been from home. Just over the sharp edge of the waterfall lay the lawless wilds of the buffer zone. Genin weren't allowed to take missions this close to the border, not during times of peace. It was still too dangerous. The vestiges of old wars still clung to their wretched lives here in the shadows cast by the Great Five._

Overhead, the guardians of the Fire Country looked down on him, as strong and silent and stoic as ever. The statues stretched so far out of reach that, for a moment, Sasuke was sure they'd blotted out the sun. Their dark shadows fell over this side of the Valley.

And then the rain came all at once. A heavy downpour pounded against the slick rock. Fat, icy droplets thudded against his pale skin. Sasuke closed his eyes, tired.

_There had been rain back then, too. The first rain of an unseasonably warm winter. For one wild moment, Sasuke had thought that he'd be forced to turn back. He'd heard the stories of sudden floods and the washouts that had overtaken even the best shinobi, especially this far north._

_Just as suddenly as they had started, the rains had stopped. Dim shafts of sunlight filtered through the dark clouds, casting a ghostly halo down on them._

_Sasuke ran._

Warm and sticky blood clung to his chilled skin, gluing the torn fabric of his uniform to the wound in his shoulder. The metallic tang filled his mouth and thickened in the back of his throat. It sucked the air from his lungs. He turned up on his side, coughing and spitting thick blood on to the rocks.

The dull, thudding ache in shoulder roared back to life. And he curled into it.

There were hands on him, like hot coals burning against his skin. They seemed everywhere all at once, his side and his back and his face and his hair. Holding him up. Comforting him.

"Breathe." He felt more than heard the words. The voice was too close and too soft, a hot puff of air that vibrated against Sasuke's temple. A hand rubbed up and down his spine roughly.

He coughed again, and then heaved. The acrid sent of blood and bile made him heave again.

"Shh, shh," the voice continued to buzz against him. "You're okay. Just breathe, Sasuke."

If he was a lesser shinobi, Sasuke thought he might have whined. He certainly didn't feel okay; he felt like he was going to die. His lungs burned as he choked on his own blood.

The last thing he heard was a desperate plea. "Don't die on me."


	2. January 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the _Naruto_ universe.

**Characters:** Sasuke, Naruto  
**Relationships:** Naruto x Sasuke  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** It's hard for Sasuke to breathe.  
**Word Count:** 750

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**January 2**

It was eerily silent. There was nothing. No trees, no birds, no people, none of the background noise that Sasuke was used to waking to. Only the sound of ragged breathing rattled through the air. A moment, maybe an eternity, passed before Sasuke realized it was him. His lungs burned as they struggled to suck enough oxygen.

_Itachi pressed an insistent finger against his lips in a shushing motion. Sasuke was giving their position; his breathing too shallow and too noisy under the strain of keeping up with the older boys._

_Then Shisui was there. He was tensed, ready to run, as he handed their captured prize to Itachi. "Too late, they already heard us," Shisui said with a hint of laughter. And then he was swinging Sasuke up into his strong arms, on the move. Silent like a proper ninja._

_Sasuke flushed pink and clapped too small, too chubby fingers over his nose and mouth, willing himself to be quieter._

Pain bloomed in his shoulder. It raced down his fingers and across his back, clenched around his lungs and heart like a vice. Sasuke tried again to lift himself up only to find he couldn't move his left arm at all. He could barely feel his arm through the hot rush of pain. Panic started to rise to his throat and he choked, unable to fight.

"Shh." Naruto was there quite suddenly. He looked worried. Fear glittered in his too large, blue eyes and his hair had flopped over, damp from a shower. A large hand rubbed soothing circles on Sasuke's chest as a strong arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him up.

Fresh waves of pain shuddered through Sasuke as he flinched away. Even so he fell against the too warm and too bright wall of Naruto's chest. He breathed slowly through his nose.

_Nausea rolled through his stomach. The thick, wet ink of seals crawled heavily against his skin. Electric chakra cut through his veins. It left a painful prickling sensation like a thousand senbon on every inch of his body._

_Shinobi didn't show vulnerabilities. It made them weak. But Kakashi said nothing, only held Sasuke's hair back as mostly liquid vomit and bile slopped against the concrete floor._

The smell of freshly cleaned laundry filled Sasuke's senses. It was cozy and almost enough to set him off again. He kept a sharp eye out and fought the urge to cough. Naruto either didn't care or didn't notice, tucking the too big shirt and too crisp sheets around Sasuke.

"I'll get you some water." Naruto nervously twitched the sheets again. He didn't move. Not until Sasuke nodded just a little, his throat burned as he gasped for air. "Right," Naruto said.

Naruto was wasting his chakra flitting around the apartment like that, weakening himself. He didn't see Sasuke as an enemy. Not that it mattered; Naruto kept blurring out of Sasuke's sight and making him dizzy. Then he was there, pressing a cool glass to Sasuke's lips.

_Blood filled his mouth. Karin shuddered and made an undignified whimpering noise. Sympathy tugged at some part of Sasuke. It was nothing compared to the scrapes and burns and shattered bones that had started twisting against the healing chakra. Sasuke pressed her arm closer to his mouth, drinking greedily. Her hand was in his hair as the world started to lose shape._

Everything tilted to the side ominously. His vision had started to fade and blacken around the edges. Sasuke could barely make out Naruto's orange jacket anymore. It had faded into the shadows. He fought to stay awake. Naruto was still the enemy and it wasn't safe for Sasuke to be here unprotected.

"You need to rest." Finally, finally, Naruto stood and moved away from the bed. He stretched to his full height, pulling arms over his head and locking the fingers together. Distantly Sasuke could hear Naruto's vertebrae popping. There was an off casualness and familiarity to the action and Sasuke found he couldn't look away. Sasuke kept staring long after Naruto had disappeared into the kitchen, sliding the door shut behind him.

When he felt safely alone, Sasuke moved slowly and cautiously. He couldn't get up; the pain and stiff muscles through his back and shoulder made sure of that. And he couldn't breathe enough to mount any sort of attack. But he could move his right arm enough to search the drawer of the bedside table blindly. Sasuke slept better with a kunai in hand.


	3. January 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the _Naruto_ universe.

**Characters:** Sasuke, Naruto  
**Relationships:** Naruto x Sasuke  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** Sasuke gives in.  
**Word Count:** 700

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**When I Come Undone  
January 3**

The kunai was still curled loosely in his fist when Sasuke woke. For a moment, he thought everything was okay. That he was safe. Home. Then, reality settled like a heavy weight in his chest. He had no home, he was never safe. And he tightened his fingers around the kunai, pulling it close like a security blanket.

It was storming again. Still. Thunder boomed loud enough to wake the dead and lightning bathed the walls in ghostly light. A cold wind howled and shuddered against the thin walls of the apartment. Sasuke's teeth chattered. He curled into the blankets and brought his hands to his chest. Ready to strike.

_Lightning raced down his arm. White-hot light gathered in his palm. Branches of it flashed up and down his arm. His veins glowed blue under the thin skin of his wrist. But it didn't burn. Not the way the fire had. The lightning felt right, pleasantly warm, like it was supposed to be there._

_He shook himself and let the lightning die on his fingertips. Uchiha didn't use lightning. They had always been more comfortable with the village's fire jutsus. The ones that Sasuke had struggled with for so long._

_Trembling, he brought his fingers to his lips, tracing the shiny and smooth scars a hundred fireballs had left. He would never win with a fire jutsu. Not if he was up against someone like Gaara; not when he was facing Itachi. No matter how much he longed to draw the fire from his lungs again. How much he wanted to be one of them again._

He coughed.

Acid burned his throat. He rolled off the bed and onto his feet. Rough, wooden floors prickled against too sensitive skin and his knees felt like jelly. But, he made it to the bathroom under his own power before his knees buckled and he hit the tiled floor with a painful and jarring crash. Then, he retched into the toilet, holding himself upright with a white-knuckled grip. The ramen Naruto had forced down his throat burned coming back up. Hot tears prickled at the corners of his eyes.

_Blood stained the grey landscape. Itachi's. His. The red was the only spot of color, bright and glistening. Burning with the reflection of the black flames. He couldn't tear his eyes away from it._

Arms shaking, Sasuke wiped his lips with the back of one fist. Blood stained his skin when he pulled his fist back. A dim and distant part of his mind screamed something was wrong. He needed to get up, to find a medic. Find somewhere safe. But he could barely think through the steps, barely see past the effort to just stay upright. To fight back the next cough, the next wave of bile.

Then Naruto was there. One hand held Sasuke's hair back. And the other rubbed comforting circles on Sasuke's back, carefully skirting the edges of the injury. Naruto was holding him up.

He was still holding the kunai in one fist. A hot flash surged through him and Sasuke whipped around to strike a pale and worried Naruto. Naruto twisted awkwardly, trying to keep a grip on Sasuke and dodge at the same time. The kunai bit into Naruto's bicep. It was a shallow cut, barely more than an annoyance, but Naruto still flinched away.

A fresh wave of fire raced through Sasuke's injured arm and the kunai slipped through slack fingers. The swing had been too wild, too reckless. He should have been smarter.

"What the hell?" Naruto was shouting. But his voice sounded muffled and far away, like Sasuke was underwater. "What's wrong with you? I was only trying to help you!"

"I don't…" Sasuke started to protest. But it came out a harsh and ragged cough. Without Naruto's support, Sasuke crumpled to the floor, curling around himself. The cool tile felt good against his hot face. Vaguely, he was aware that he must be burning with a fever. It was just too much effort to care now. Even the energy to protest Naruto's worried yelps had faded into nothing.

And, besides, the storm still pounded in his ears, drawing him back to sweet oblivion.


	4. January 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the _Naruto_ universe.

**Characters:** Sasuke, Naruto, OC  
**Relationships:** Naruto x Sasuke  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** Sasuke struggles to keep breathing.  
**Word Count:** 650

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**When I Come Undone  
January 4**

Time moved funny. First too fast. Naruto was usually there, saying things that Sasuke couldn't quite understand. Then too slow. Everything hurt and Sasuke was hot and cold in turns. He was unable to think past the effort to keep breathing. And, for long stretches at a time, there was nothing at all. Just a darkness that seemed to swallow him whole.

_When he woke in the hospital, Sasuke was alone. A low and constant drumbeat thudded against his skull. Sitting in the dark quiet, his mind filled with that beat, it took several long moments for all the piece to tumble back into place. Then he screamed. Eyes wide, he fell to the floor and scrambled to get away. To tuck himself in the blackest shadows in the corner. The IV ripped free from his arm with the violent jolt. Drops of blood trailed across the floor, bright and red on the white tile. Sasuke couldn't look away. Someone opened the door, turned on the light. He breathed hard, trying not to cry, as Iruka-sensei pulled him close._

A comfortingly cool hand pressed against the side of Sasuke's face. For a split-second Sasuke thought it was Naruto. Almost allowed himself to slip back into darkness. Then, horror and dread crawled through his veins. Naruto was always warm. Even in the dead of winter while Sasuke burned with fever, Naruto was warm to the touch.

This was not Naruto.

It was pure instinct that drove Sasuke's next move. Pain, fresh and raw, surged through Sasuke's arm as he drew chakra through his fingertips. The lightning flickered weakly, the humming muted. But the chidori could still kill a man; it didn't take much. He lashed out.

_The fight was over before it even started. Icy water crashed over Sasuke, sweeping his feet out from under him. An involuntary and fleeting shudder ran down his spine. Then, his back hit the stone floor with bruising force as a weight settled on his chest. Sasuke choked back a cry of pain. Suigetsu grinned down at him, all sharp and shining teeth. Two fingers pressed against Sasuke's temple. "Bang. You're dead."_

What happened next was something of a blur. All Sasuke knew was that he ended up on the floor, the weight of a knee pressed into his chest. The cool and sharp edge of a blade was pressed to his neck. He coughed wetly. Cautiously, he turned his head as blood and bile rose in the back of his throat. Metal bit into skin.

Suddenly, Naruto was there. He was talking too fast and too loud. The other person—a young man in medic white—was responding, but Sasuke couldn't hear over the dull roar of Naruto's voice. Sasuke could see the medic's fingers flickering through unfamiliar seals, though. And it made him dizzy to watch.

The fuzzy blackness on the edges of his vision was back. Sasuke closed his eyes again. His head throbbed. He focused on breathing deeply, filling his lungs with the stale and stifling air.

"_Breathe," the nurse was saying. "Inhale three four five six seven. Exhale. Good. You're doing well, Sasuke." Her voice was strong, soothing. Safe. Sasuke couldn't even remember her name. Maybe it didn't matter, maybe her name wasn't important. He didn't think she cared, after all. The hospital had just assigned her to a random case. There was nothing special about him; he didn't matter to anyone. It was just another job. "Just keep breathing." Why didn't it hurt more?_

A hand had replaced the blade on the side of his neck. The comforting warmth of healing chakra spread through his veins. It eased the strain in his lungs and dulled the edge of the pain. However, fresh blood continued to well on his injured shoulder, spilling on to the worn floor of Naruto's apartment. Everything felt heavy. Sasuke let himself fall into the darkness.


End file.
